I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
