it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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