when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
