I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize