He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
