you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
