Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
