it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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