The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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