So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
