Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
