ugly people sure do ruin things
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
