she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
