Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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