Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We are two peas in an std pod
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
