I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
