She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
