He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
