Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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