Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
