He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize