ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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