may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm getting married
To pizza
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
