i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
In America we eat man semen.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
