making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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