my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You left your phone here
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