Plan B is the new Plan A
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
