my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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