Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
And then he peed in my hair
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