Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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