The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
