they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize