If i come over, it means nothing
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I CAN MOONWALK!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
