I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
