The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
