Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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