you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
