Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
