I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
