yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize