is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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