I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
