where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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