A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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