My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
