I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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