omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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