i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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