ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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