yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
