so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
jump out the window naked night went bad
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
