yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
