Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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