im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Welp...herpes.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
