If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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