i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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