i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
