Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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