Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
