I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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