The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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