when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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