dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I skipped work to stalk him.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize