i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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