One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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