She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
