if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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