she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she told me i tasted like america
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
