besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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