I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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