YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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