apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
