So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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