You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
