"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
