just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
