yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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