You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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