yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You're completely useless in the revolution.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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