We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
